You are looking at me and wondering what kind of life I have experienced. Do you think I went through my youth like you? Certainly you know I wasn't born 62 years old! What do you think I was doing when I was 17? Even before I was given my life's mission, I always had the heart that I wanted to be a friend to the suffering people in my village. When I was a boy, there was a rich, arrogant boy who always received a hard time from me. But those who were unfortunate and suffering were always my friends. If I heard that some household had no money to buy groceries, I considered it an emergency and I did everything possible to obtain some money for those people. Until I had done that I could not sleep. I wanted to be more than a friend; I wanted to be someone who could serve and help others. Between the ages of 20 and 30 which is considered the prime of youth, people normally want to dress well, and have pleasant experiences in life. But I lived in exactly the opposite way. I never wore a new suit; I always bought surplus clothing in thrift shops.
My hair never looked neat and attractive. I was always busy doing my mission. In those days I spoke very little, even though I knew that I had many valuable things to say. I determined to be silent and look very unassuming.
During the prime of my youth I spent every day experiencing the most desperate, suffering situations in human life: working in labor camps, mines, poor farms, docks and even begging. I looked at every aspect of human life, even the world of prostitutes. I studied all the miseries of human life.
When I was a student in Tokyo, I rode on the railway looking for the places where the most miserable people were living. Even on rainy days I would get off the train and go and sit on the bench beside unfortunate looking people and make friends with them. I always thought to myself, "What if this man were my elder brother or my father and he was suffering on my account, what could I do for him?"
I observed the students at my university. They were always laughing, talking, and behaving very boisterously. I compared myself with them and thought, "Your laughter is meaningless; it has no weight. But through my silence and meditation, as I seek the solutions to life's problems, mankind will find new hope in the future." I knew that the silly gaiety of my fellow students would pass away like a puff of smoke, but the sorrow and sadness I was sharing with the miserable people of society would bring a new future for the world.
I want you to understand that to earn the title of True Parents is a very difficult task. The position of True Parents exists for the sake of mankind. To be qualified to be in this position one must be able to satisfy all the needs of mankind. The first qualification of the True Parents is to taste the suffering of humanity. This is how I spent my entire youth, going to the places of poverty and misery, visiting the homes of miners and laborers. Also, I acquainted myself with the middle-class people and upper-class people.
In a way, I was a miserable person. I was totally alone; no one understood me or what I was trying to accomplish. Even my parents and brothers and sisters didn't understand me. Of course, Mother is always with me now, supporting me constantly, but even Mother doesn't know everything I envision for the future.
Throughout my life, I have been a pioneer charting a path that never existed before, one which no one had even thought to go before. In order to go that way I had to fight every day a lonely battle in tears and sweat. That path was full of difficulties by itself, but on top of that there was persecution and discrimination. In my village, even though I had never committed a crime, people began to wonder about me and I could not move about freely or live my life freely. Ordinarily, a person becomes a folk hero when he excels at all his activities and does deeds of kindness for other people. But my scale of thinking was far greater than just my village. I was thinking of the nation and the world. Because of that, I was completely misunderstood. People would laugh at me, point their fingers at me. They had no idea what my true motivation was.
My mother was the only one who was close to understanding me; of course, even she didn't understand everything. Sometimes I would reveal certain things to her. Most of the time, I would go to the tombs of my forefathers and speak to them, revealing my heart there. I could reveal my secrets there, knowing that all my ancestors in the spirit world were in a better position to understand what I was doing.
Once I undertook my life's mission, I encountered opposition on every level. My village opposed me, the society opposed me, and the nation opposed me. The most severe opposition came from established Christianity. Ministers and elders of the churches were pointing their fingers at me, accusing me of being a heretic, telling their parishioners, "Don't even go near Rev. Moon; he is a demon!" My relatives were mistreated simply because they were related to me. If I went to a village inn or to a restaurant, I was not welcome. I did nothing wrong and I committed no crime. All I was doing was pursuing the highest possible goal, which they could not understand. But I continued to lay the foundation step by step, in spite of all the opposition.
Under such circumstances, winning a true friend and creating a small organization was not easy. But the entire spirit world was always on my side. In the early days of the Unification Church nobody bore witness to anybody else. Members came to the Church through contact and guidance from the spirit world. If you have visited Korea, you have probably met our elder grandmothers in the Church. None of them came because someone invited them; they received revelations from spirit world directly and came on their own initiative to look for me.
My entire life can be described by one phrase: it has been a life in
the shadows. Always I have been misunderstood and persecuted. I was
the first Moonie and all of you are the contemporary Moonies. When I
look at you I envy you very much; you are so free. Compared to the way
I lived in my early days, you are literally living in the Kingdom of
Heaven.
The Vibration of True Love 1-30-82
Am I walking a normal or abnormal way? Mother tries to bring me closer to a normal way of life. "Father, you aren't a young man anymore," she says. "Please don't act like a 20 year old!" Mother also has another good piece of advice: "You shouldn't give sermons longer than two hours. It's bad for your heart!" When I go beyond two hours, Mother always gives some warning signal. Indeed, I am surely living an abnormal way!
Normally people expect to eat three meals a day, but I don't have such
a concept. Who wrote a law that we have to eat three meals a day? One
meal is okay. Two meals are okay. No meal is okay. Sometimes I speak
all day long and at the dinner table I say, "This is my breakfast."
That is the kind of schedule I keep. I don't know whether I'm having
breakfast or dinner! I am always hungry when I eat and always enjoy a
meal, no matter what its content. i think that's how I keep healthy.
Everyone is Headed Somewhere 3-7-82
I can take care of myself, but I like to lean on Mother and be
protected by her; I want to follow her wherever she goes. That's
beautiful. Likewise, Mother always wants to lean on me. Even though
she wants to be independent, she says she is better off leaning on me,
since I have more security than I need. That is so beautiful.
In the Presence of God 4-11-82
I have learned how to adapt to whatever environment I enter. For example, if I go someplace where everybody is drinking and having fun, I can harmonize with them even without drinking just by showing lively interest in the people. I can even speak about God to them. With just a glass of Coca Cola, I can feel more intoxicated than the others, and they will comment, "How strange! You are only drinking Coke, but you are enjoying it more than we are enjoying our wine. What is your secret?" I could tell them, "Your taste buds get numbed by wine so you can't appreciate how good Coca Cola tastes. But I really enjoy the taste, so it has made me intoxicated."
If I go to a construction site, I know exactly how to deal with the laborers and how to do the things that they do. When you go into the laborers' environment, you must play by their rules. Do you understand? In other words, wherever you are you can always represent good. The universe protects a harmonizing person; it is even responsible to protect such a person.
When I came to the United States I behaved in a very natural manner and never got upset by any hostile atmosphere. When I go to Japan I never consider the past enemy relationship between Korea and Japan; instead, I transcend those feelings and make myself completely at home in Japan and love the Japanese people. When I go to Germany, it is the same. Any new place I visit I always think, "I am coming into a different season, like going from spring to autumn. I must adapt myself to the changes. No problem." In other words, I do not feel like a stranger anywhere in this universe. Everybody everywhere is a part of God's family and creation, and I can always embrace people wherever I go because I know the universe is protecting me. My distinguishing characteristic is the ability to adjust immediately to any circumstance.
One extreme example of this adaptability was my response to being imprisoned in North and South Korea. I didn't tell myself I shouldn't be in such a place; instead, I became a leader of people no matter where I was. There are always people to talk to and teach about God, even in jail.
This harmonizing way of life doesn't spring from a shallow perspective; this ability to make myself at home wherever I go is anchored to the core truth of the universe. I have walked through life as an absolute subject, so wherever I have gone, an object has automatically appeared. Don't you think this is a wonderful way of life?
I know that the core or essence of the universe is God, and He
functions in exactly this fashion. To recognize God is to recognize
the spirit world as well. The spirit world is subject realm and we are
living in the object realm. I know the rules of that subject world.
God Is My Home 4-25-82
Whenever Mother asks me, "How much do you love me?" I always tell her
that I cannot love her any more than what we accomplish in building
the Kingdom of God on earth; that is our mission. My response is
always the same, even towards Mother. That is the principled way and I
will abide by Principle.
Let Us Protect Ourselves 5-1-82
In Oriental philosophy, the crane is a noble, sacred bird. By the way,
Mother's name, Han, means crane. So the crane is a symbol for Mother.
The Road of the Saint and the Religious Man 5-2-82
Mother just returned from the hospital yesterday after giving birth, and it was a long ordeal for her. I was anxious to bring her here to Sunday Service today but the doctor said it was impossible. Why do I want Mother to be here? I wanted her to show a heroic example to all of you. Even though she is very weak, still Mother managed to come here and listen to three or four hours of the sermon. That is truly historic. When Mother does that, how in the world can any wives or husbands in the church complain about their situations? That is the kind of tradition I wanted to set this morning.
Do you think God will say to me, "Rev. Moon, what a cruel husband you are! How can you drag your wife out right after she came home from the hospital?" No, He will say, "You are indeed a wonderful husband. You truly love your wife." I know that is the way God sees it. What kind of husband do you women want? Do you want a husband who thinks like me? Sometimes a husband can do things that appear to be cruel, but they are motivated by pure love, as in this case.
When you cheer for us, I want Mother to receive the same joy and praise that I do from you. When you cheer Mother, I truly want to be the first person to cheer her. To become that kind of wife is not easy. Ordinary women would complain, "My husband doesn't understand women and their special difficulties."
Mother and I now have thirteen children. The number 12 was a good number and perhaps you wonder why we went on to have 13. Jesus and the twelve apostles together make 13. Now there are twelve children and one who will become like the central figure of the group. We have six daughters and seven sons; six is a number representing earth and seven represents heaven. Mother has consummated her mission.
I always want to be a good example for every member of my family. I work hard, go to bed latest, get up early in the morning, and spend many sleepless nights meditating. Nobody in my home can say I am not working hard enough. Mother recognizes this and tells me, "Father, I surrender. Your standard is absolute." Men should fulfill the man's role with a man's dignity. He should be in the position to educate women.
When I was in prison camp in North Korea, nobody knew anything about me. But sooner or later, people came to respect me because they saw my actions. The prison police were supposed to treat the prisoners very harshly, but they couldn't always treat me that way. Even some of them felt respect for me. At one point when I came out of my cell, the police bowed to me. Of course I never asked them to do that. That is the kind of life which is truly dramatic.
Mother worries about my health and tells me, "Father, you are not a
young man anymore. You should cut down the length of your sermons to
only two hours." But I knew that if I did that, she would say, "Two
hours is a little too long, so why don't you make it an hour and a
half?" Then she would suggest one hour, then thirty minutes, then
maybe 15 minutes. I have a secret: whenever Mother gives that kind of
advice for a Sunday morning, the sermon that day will be at least four
hours. I can't work under pressure of any kind; I want to be totally
free. Mother tells me, "I can't understand you; you are an incredible
mystery!" But once I explained my logic to her about this situation,
she accepted it and had to consent to my thinking.
Blessed Family 6-20-82
What characteristic do you suppose Mother finds most attractive in me? What would she consider my most unique, lovable point? I would like to know what you think! I can well imagine, but I won't tell you, because I cannot speak for her unless she is here.
But I know precisely what I like about Mother, from A to Z. Do you
think I have yet to appreciate all her good characteristics 100%? No,
not yet. That means I have to continue doing research and make more
effort to understand and cherish her. Even by the time I die, I don't
think my research will be finished. Therefore, there is no time to be
bored, because so many things remain to be learned. By the same token,
there are many aspects of me that Mother still has to learn about. She
is always telling me, "Father, how do you find so many different
things to talk about? I thought you would have run out of stories
yesterday after speaking for seven hours, but here you are giving
another sermon!" She is constantly amazed at the depths of my thought.
The Day of All Things 6-27-82
Do you think Mother is a very fortunate and happy woman to be married to me? In one sense she is fortunate, but there is untold suffering because she has virtually no freedom. She does not determine her own schedule. She has no freedom to sleep whenever she wants, but only when I allow it. It is not easy to be my wife. My life is absolutely public. Yesterday, Mother didn't feel very well, but I had said that we would visit Washington, D.C., so she just obeyed and followed. She had a headache and felt dizzy, but do you think Mother slept all morning? Absolutely not. Do you still think Mother is a happy woman?
Mother was there the whole time. I'm sure she thought I could give a great message in just a short time, but she sat and listened for hours. Even this morning I'm sure she would like me to give a short sermon because there is a celebration scheduled today at East Garden. Mother is anxious that I will get too tired. She feels anxious when I go on and on, but she still obeys and sits calmly. Mother does not have an easy life at all. You may think she is the happiest person under the sun with nothing to worry about, but that is not the case.
Mother knows that she must follow my will because everything I do is
for the salvation and benefit of others. I just came back from
Gloucester. After a whole summer on the ocean I was very fatigued and
would have liked to rest. I could have sent Bo Hi Pak here to give the
sermon this morning, but I came anyway, pounding on you again! I came
here to give the milk of life to you, almost like spiritual breast
feeding. When you drink like a child, your eyes and ears, as well as
your spiritual mind, open up. Wherever I am, when Sunday comes I want
to bring resurrection to you.
New Family Given By God 7-5-82
I have had many experiences since Mother and I have had thirteen children, so I can understand the differences between boys and girls. If I happen to feel a little ill, the boys will express some concern and repeatedly ask, "How is Father?" They will shout out to me when they see me, "Father, are you feeling OK?" and then they will go out, never coming near. However, the daughters are different. They won't say much, but they will do many things to try to make me feel better, such as bringing me juices, rubbing my shoulders, and so forth.
In the past, wealthy kings always had more women serving in their palaces than men. Why was that? Simply because women create a more beautiful atmosphere than men.
The important point I am stressing is the significance of the woman in the family. If we were to compare, we could say that men are like the bones and women are like the flesh. Even externally, men are supposed to be bonier and women are softer and plumper. Difficulties often arise in marriages because the woman has the attitude, "When I get married, my husband will take total care of me." That is certainly the wrong attitude.
Have you men ever stopped to consider what it is in women that you envy the most? What do they have that you wish you had? If you haven't thought about that then you are very dull men indeed. How can you appreciate your wife in the future? You say "sensitivity," "softness," and "intuition" -- what else? Let me answer this for you: women can conceive and bear your children and then nurse them at their breasts. That is one thing you men can never do so you must be very envious.
I was made most keenly aware of this recently. I was holding Jung Jin Nim shortly after we brought her home from the hospital and before long I realized that she was very uncomfortable. So I gave her to Mother and she soon fell sound asleep, but she never sleeps in my arms! I felt envious of Mother.
Because of my mission, I cannot listen to anyone else's advice unless I am sure it is the best. I must be the total master of my activities, yet I find myself somehow spellbound by Mother! I always want to tag along with her when she goes somewhere. I am big and Mother is just a small person, but there is a universe of experience between us. I love Mother beyond all the things I must do in the future or the present. My love for her transcends everything else. Certainly between Mother and me there are complications and difficulties which we must overcome but through love we are always able to do that. Mother is the one who must initiate the leadership in the relationship, not I. I have many different responsibilities and much more to accomplish than Mother in the outside world. However, women have the more important role than the men in their relationship.
In the practical sense, you women generally obey me better than the men do. Isn't this true? You men always feel the desire to rise to a position equal to me; you don't so naturally feel you are in the object position to me. When I speak to you and I express some inter- esting idea, you men think, "Oh, I knew that too, Father." Whereas the women just enjoy and throw themselves into the experience of the sermon. Isn't this generally true? This alone is proof that women listen to and obey me better than you men, right? What you are actually saying is that the women are purer than you.
What I am trying to teach you is to become a good ancestor. From this time forward it shouldn't make any difference whether or not you see me often. You shouldn't need anyone else telling you what to do. You know clearly the path you must go according to the Principle and you should not even need any more sermons from me. Many times when God made it clear what He expected from me I didn't even pray to tell Him I would do it, but instead simply did what He expected.
Many people have worked very hard but I always determined to work harder than they. I always slept less and ate less than any of you; therefore I am not indebted to America for anything. I have never worn the finest clothing. Today I am wearing the shoes which I have been wearing for three years. I bought them on sale at a very low price.
These kinds of facts are very puzzling to people. I have never made a habit of wearing neckties, although I have received many neckties as gifts. I only wear them when I must give a sermon or when I must dress up for a special occasion. I never go to a nice Chinese restaurant unless I bring many members with me. I always go to McDonalds otherwise. You Americans probably thought, "He must like McDonalds"; but do you do everything that you like to do? People are curious when they see a black, shiny limousine pulling up to McDonalds' parking lot. It doesn't make sense!
Today I am wearing stylish-looking slacks because Mother insisted that the ones I have been wearing are too old and worm out. I have never worn any rings on my hands, although I could if I wanted to. I certainly don't need any rings to meet with God. I don't look at Belvedere or East Garden and think to myself, "I own that." I am not interested in owning a house; I can make my home in any peaceful place. However, if I didn't have these external things white people in this country probably would not pay any attention to us. Since your church owns such places as Belvedere and East Garden and Reverend Moon is the leader of a world-wide organization, people call you "Moonies" with derision, but inside they feel respect and even awe. It is largely because of this external foundation that we receive attention from the world.
There is nothing for which I am ashamed, nor is there anything which I fear. This is the correct attitude for pursuing God's will in the world.
It is not to maintain the big house for my own comfort that I send you out to do fund raising. Much more money is spent here for the sake of America than the American family has ever been able to raise.
Shall we find our own home? Determine that you will create your home
with your own effort and that of your family. Don't depend upon God,
the Church or America; they will not do it for you. Are you Americans
confident to do that?
In Search of Our Home 7-11-82
You think that I have taught you American women many things. You love and trust me, is that correct? From now on you must truly be different from all secular American women. Think of it: if I had been the sort of man who always cleared things with my wife before acting on them, there would no Unification Church today! I am speaking now of my first marriage. That woman was very brilliant and capable. She told me, "All you need to do is just love and pay attention to me and our child; I will make you happy. Just stay here; why do you have to go to North Korea, anyway? You have no guarantee that you will survive there!" However, I did not listen to her; I only discussed with God and obeyed God's commands. Even more than Abraham, I left everything behind and went directly to North Korea as soon as God directed me. I didn't even go to visit my own home town there in North Korea -- that is not why God sent me. I went to North Korea in order to do exactly what God commanded
When I came to the United States, there was opposition, too. People said to me, "Father, you have success now here in Korea. Why must you go to another strange country and suffer there?" At that time, I left Mother behind and brought only those missionaries who could translate for me. So again I left my wife and children behind and took off for a foreign land. My immediate family felt unhappy, but I didn't pay much attention. Mother felt that she would like to accompany me everywhere I went, but I had to leave her behind. I was coming to a place similar to a spiritual "combat zone." I had to go to all fifty states setting up holy grounds in forty days' time.
In that way, I was able to demonstrate my love for this country. I wanted to be able to say, "I love this country more than anyone else, even any American." In the process of giving true love to this country and its people, I incurred persecution on the worldwide level. Although I received so much opposition and hostility, still I loved this nation with a father's love. Therefore, no one can compete with such love.
Do you feel regret for having given so much effort and time doing your work for God? At this time, you must continue to work hard and suffer together with your spouse and family and you will become the subjects of the Completed Testament Acts of the Apostles of God's Kingdom. Even though you may work so hard you will feel completely exhausted and cannot go on, you will not be finished. You will receive the true, unending admiration of all the people of the future, year after year.
That is why Mother and I have lived with the same spirit, year after year. Mother has given birth to so many children and her body is not the same as it was; she endures incredible suffering. However, I still push her to go together with me everywhere. Do you object to that or do you approve of it? You approve? Does that mean you want Mother to suffer more? No, but you understand the Principle and you know the reasons why I push her. I, myself, am over 60 years of age and I don't really have to work as hard as I do, but that is not the way that I want to live my life. I cannot sit complacently in a reclining chair for even one day.
God is telling me that I should take it easy now, since the age of
children has arrived; I could just offer guidance and not work so
hard. However, I will not live that way. Do you think God will say,
"You have broken the law; I asked you to rest and you did not rest, so
I am going to punish you"? No; there is no such law in God's kingdom.
Even though God may be telling me strongly in front of all the angels
in spirit world that I should take it easy, inside of Him He is filled
with pride. He is thinking, "Reverend Moon is really my champion. I am
so proud of him."
The Harvest Season of God's Providence 9-19-82