The Tradition, Book One
Reverend Chung Hwan Kwak
Chapter 22
Blessed Family Practices
Prayer Area
For a general explanation of setting up prayer rooms, altars, etc.,
refer to chapter 2, Prayer Rooms and Altars.
Significance
Each blessed couple or family should try to set aside either a room or
a designated area for prayer. If possible, set up a permanent altar in
this area. Keeping such a place for prayer is important in cultivating
a feeling of daily attendance to God.
Use and Care
If possible, prayer meetings and Pledge services should be held in
this area.
Suggestions outlined in the Function and Care sections of chapter 2,
Prayer Rooms and Altars, also apply.
Prayer services
Within the Blessed Family Unit
Significance of Daily Prayer Services.
It is essential to hold daily prayer services within each blessed
family. Of greatest importance to each blessed couple is fostering
their children's faith. Therefore, it is vital that parents teach
God's tradition and ideal to their children through means such as
prayer meetings and Pledge service.
By holding daily services, blessed families will be able to feel
closer and to more easily share with each other. Of course, parents
teach their children in many ways every day, but when leading prayer
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meetings and Pledge services parents occupy a more dignified and
respectful position. At such times parents will find it easier to
guide their children to live according to God's purpose and will.
Through such prayer meetings parents can begin to perceive the
characters of their children. Listening to their prayers will allow
parents the opportunity to appreciate the depth and clarity of their
children's faith and developing relationships with God.
Through daily prayer services, parents have the opportunity to teach
their children to lead a devout life. Daily services afford time to
explain our faith to the children and give them occasion to discuss
their questions. Such a service can also include discussion.
Suggested Format.
It is recommended that parents begin to hold prayer services as a
family even when their children are at a very young age. As the
children begin to mature, it is suggested that one or both parents
pray, and that each child can offer a short prayer, one after another.
The members of the family can take turns selecting songs or readings
(Bible, the Principle, Father's words) and then offering a
representative prayer. Eventually one of the older children can be
given the responsibility to guide or conduct daily family prayer
meetings. If parents become too busy to attend, the children can hold
these meetings by themselves. But, whenever possible, parents should
participate and offer internal guidance.
One example of the format of such a service (morning and/or evening)
follows:
Song
Representative prayer
A reading (selection from the Bible, the Principle, one of
Father's speeches, Unification Church publication, etc.)
OR
Internal guidance talk by parents
Closing prayer
Focus of Prayers.
Blessed children should be taught the important responsibility which
all blessed families have, to pray and support the True Parents and
the True Family.
Father is quoted on this subject in The Way of God's Will.
Early in the morning, couples ought to pray in tears holding
the hands of their children.
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Within the Blessed Couple Unit
Significance of Daily Prayer Services.
Blessed couples who are living together but as yet have no children,
or who are expecting a child, or who have very young babies, should
also conduct simple prayer meetings. Such services will more naturally
create deeper unity and harmony.
Focus of Prayers.
Blessed couples need to strengthen the family foundation supporting
the True Parents and their family. This should be the main focus of
prayers at these daily meetings.
Following our True Parents' example, it would also be appropriate to
pray for unborn (or unconceived) children, pledging to dedicate them
to Heavenly Father. Parents may also choose to pray about the
qualities and characteristics they hope the child will develop. Our
True Parents have testified that after doing so, they found that their
child had depth and character strength especially in those areas.
Pledge Service
(Refer to chapter 4, Pledge Service; Format for- Blessed Members'
Pledge Service, for details on how to conduct a family Pledge
service.)
Sunday Service and Sunday School
Each blessed family should attend Sunday service at the local
Unification Church center. If there are any special reasons (e.g.,
church visitation or the Unification Church center is too far), the
blessed family should attend service in the church of their choice.
If the children are too young and one parent must remain at home, it
is important that the other spouse, representing the family, attend
Sunday service.
If the Unification Church center has a Sunday school, couples should
take children as soon as they are old enough. If the Unification
Church center is too far away, the children should attend Sunday
school in the church in which their parents are active.
In The Way of God's Will, Father shares thoughts on this subject.
On the day of worship service, couples-should go to church
in such happy way that children will want to come along with
them out of envy.
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Blessed Family Lifestyle
Significance
All blessed couples occupy the position of son and daughter of Heav-
enly Father and True Parents. Centering on God's tradition, therefore,
all blessed families should live a life of attendance and dedication
to God and True Parents even through the routine activities of daily
life.
Education of Blessed Children
Books about educating blessed children will be forthcoming from the
International Publications Department. There is a great deal to
discover and implement in the area of education. This book, therefore,
cannot adequately cover such material. Simple guidelines will,
however, be offered in several of the chapters regarding certain
traditions for teaching young children.
Ideally, parents should teach their children by example. For instance,
if parents go directly to the prayer area and pray when entering or
leaving the house, the children will observe and begin to follow that
example. Eventually the children will come to understand that they
live not only with themselves but also with God. A child's observation
of his or her parents in prayer or in discussions about our faith can
be key in shaping their morals, attitudes, etc. The example parents
set for children teaches them more than any amount of preaching.
Through developing a pure attitude in living a life of attendance,
children will learn that blessed families must live with True Parents
and God, not just within the unit of their individual family. This is
a very important concept for blessed children to understand. They will
begin to feel what a holy and divine attitude one must have when
attending guests, and in this way, learn how to attend the True
Parents.
Attitude of Attendance
By observing the traditions of preparing a plate for the True Parents
and the guest offering dish described in the following sections,
members of a blessed family can develop the attitude of attending the
True Parents daily. According to God's teaching, we should love our
neighbors as ourselves. This is one substantial way we can be prepared
to do so daily.
In the early days, True Father taught all members to observe these
traditions because they teach us to always be prepared to serve and
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attend the True Parents and guests. This is part of the tradition of
the ideal world. We should always open our heart to welcome any guest.
If a blessed family is always prepared to serve the True Parents
and/or guests, it will never be faced with not having enough food if
an unexpected guest arrives. The quality of the food is not important.
Of greatest importance is the attitude of openness such a tradition
teaches us in cultivating a life of service and attendance to Heaven.
True Father has always taught that blessed couples should warmly
welcome guests and visitors. If parents show gratitude to receive
guests, their children will learn respect for visitors and how to
attend them. In this way, the entire family will naturally extend
their hospitality to callers.
In a speech given to blessed couples in America on February 11, 1980,
Father said the following;
We should practice opening our homes for families that are
traveling through. To let a guest stay in a hotel or motel is a
downright disgrace; share your lodging up to a week or month,
whatever. We should feel pride in doing so. Make a beginning and
then keep practicing it. The couple should feel it is their
brother's house and not feel embarrassed as in a stranger's
house. Over a meal talk about America, what they do in their
country, how our church is coming.
In The Way of God's Will Father speaks more on the responsibility
blessed couples have toward each other.
Since we are in the Head House as the first sons, we must feed
all who visit us. Just as I took care of all the members
throughout the night without sleeping, blessed families must take
that responsibility in my place.
Plate for True Parents
A custom which each blessed family might want to initiate is that of
preparing a daily plate of food in honor of True Parents.
It is important to invite Heavenly Father and True Parents to share
each meal with us. Of course True Parents physically cannot eat with
each family, but through preparing a plate in their honor, blessed
families express to Heaven their desire and willingness to attend True
Parents.
Required Articles and Preparation.
If a family decides to begin this practice, certain guidelines to
follow are included below.
Buy an entire place setting (for example, plate, cup and saucer,
glass, silverware, chopsticks) which will then be used exclusively for
this purpose. Sanctify all items with Holy Salt before use.
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Select a shelf or an area in the kitchen or dining room cupboard where
these items are stored when not in use. After this area is sanctified
with Holy Salt, it should then be considered a divine or holy area and
kept clean and free.
A small picture of the True Parents could also be kept in the same
area but it is not mandatory. It may not be practical if many guests
would have occasion to see this.
One might also wish to place a container of Holy Salt and other
decorative touches such as a small arrangement of flowers, but these
are optional.
Procedure.
Serving the plate. When the meal is ready to be served, the first
plate should be prepared as if it would be served to the True Parents.
Either the cook or another member of the family should serve a portion
of the food directly from the pots and pans on the special plate. The
plate should then be taken to the area where it is kept. While holding
it in both hands, he or she should offer it with a prayer of thanks.
There is no special prayer content; the expression of heart is more
important then the actual words.
The plate should remain on the shelf for a few moments.
If a guest (member or non-member) comes to share the main meal with
the family, he or she should be served this plate of food and use the
glass, cup and saucer, etc., from the place setting. However, even if
there are no guests, the food should-be eaten from the plate for True
Parents. Wait several minutes and then bring it to the table. One
suggestion is to offer it to a different member of the family each
time.
After these dishes have been washed, they should again be stored in
the special area.
Frequency of this Tradition.
Ideally, this tradition should be observed at all three meals. Yet
because this is the transition period in God's dispensation, many
members have no home base and irregular schedules. If this practice is
kept, it is acceptable for families to prepare this plate for True
Parents only once a day.
Offering Dish
Significance.
Another practice which allows a blessed family to nurture the attitude
of attendance is keeping an offering dish. Its purpose is to share a
portion of any gifts of food given to the family with guests who visit
the home or center.
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Whenever others remember the family with gifts of fruit, candies,
cookies, nuts, etc., members of the family should have the attitude to
share these items with God and True Parents before enjoying them. It
is best to offer thanks to God and express gratitude for the heart of
the giver.
Required Articles and Preparation.
If it is possible, purchase a new dish or bowl. Sanctify the dish with
Holy Salt before use.
As with the plate for True Parents, keep this offering dish in a
(different) special area or shelf in the cupboard. This area, too,
should be considered divine or holy and not used for any other
purpose.
Procedure.
Receiving gifts of food.
Relating this gratitude to a life of attendance, before eating a gift
of food given to the family, a portion of what was given should be
placed in the offering dish. Be sure the food is covered with plastic
wrap or foil to prevent spoilage or staleness.
Serving the offering dish.
If the True Parents (or other guests) visit the home, it is
appropriate to offer this food, signifying the first and best of these
gifts of food, to them.
If no guests visit, the contents of the dish should be shared by
members of the family before the food spoils. This could be done after
an evening prayer meeting or Sunday morning after Pledge service.
Once the dish is shared, it should be washed and kept in its special
place for further use.
Blood Transfusions
If a blessed member must, for any reason, receive a blood transfusion,
it is appropriate that he or she receive blood (according to his or
her blood type) from the blood bank of a hospital or clinic. It is not
imperative that a member receive blood only from another blessed
member.
Donating Blood
There are no restrictions on either single or blessed members donating
blood to a national organization, hospital, or clinic during a local
blood drive, at a time of emergency, etc. It is good to sacrifice for
others in this way.
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Blessed Family Associations
Establishment of Blessed Family Associations in Each Nation
As the foundation of the Unification Church movement develops to a
level substantial enough to organize Blessed Family Associations, the
members belonging to a certain Blessing may wish to establish an
association.
Blessed Family Association Fund
If the members in a particular country have enough members, they may
wish to set up their own Blessed Family Association Fund.
Any money raised by donation (meeting dues, a monthly fee, etc.)
should be used for purposes such as assisting couples with financial
difficulties, scholarships for blessed children, meetings with True
Parents, or sending flowers or gifts to True Parents or the True
Children (on such occasions as birthdays, Blessings, Seung Hwa
Ceremonies, etc.).
It is permissible for economically poor countries to use such funds to
send eligible members to matchings and Blessings.
All blessed couples should realize that True Parents have great
concern for the blessed families worldwide. Father himself has asked
that several kinds of scholarships be set up for the future education
of blessed children.
As there are more and more international Blessings, and as members
will be very mobile, it will be impractical to manage an international
Blessing Association Fund for the larger Blessings. It is, therefore,
suggested that these be set up on a regional or national basis.
National Blessed Family Department
It is recommended that (when appropriate) each nation set up its own
Blessed Family Department. With the larger Blessings, it may be
difficult to manage national Blessing associations; therefore it is
suggested that in these cases, regional associations be established
instead. It is suggested that the person responsible for each of the
different Blessing associations report to the national Blessed Family
Department.
According to the situation, the frequency of meetings, amount of dues,
etc., can be discussed and decided. If there are only one or two
blessed families from a certain Blessing in each region, state, and
nation, perhaps Blessed Family meetings could encompass all blessed
families.
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Topics to be discussed at such meetings can be decided as the occasion
merits. However, several suggestions follow: unity with the True
Parents Family, home church work, testimonies of family life (those
with children as well as childless couples), family life in the
context of mission, and practical concerns such as child rearing and
prenatal education.
Cooperation with the International Blessed Family Department.
At the time of Blessing or important events regarding blessed
families, each national or regional Blessed Family Department should
cooperate with the International Blessed Family Department for the
purposes of information gathering, communication, etc.
The International Blessed Family Department will also be responsible
to assist in clarification of all areas regarding the Blessing and
blessed family lifestyle. This department can be contacted for this
information by the various national level departments. Moreover,
Blessed Family, an international journal for the constant
dissemination of information on various aspects of religious lifestyle
and the raising of children, will insure a continuous flow of answers
to the questions that will arise. National publications and
newsletters can speak to the specific national and local educational
needs.