It should be clear that sex is important. Therefore, we have better to learn more about this important issue. Why is it important? What is it for? Who can be the partners? etc...
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Just as driving a car, all drivers surely want to get out of the car alive. To achieve that, he needs good driving habits. To have good driving habits is to have proper control over the car so that his goal can be achieved. Similarly, if we want to have a happy family in the future, we need to have healthy and loving lifestyle. Such a lifestyle means that we have to have control over our life. Abstinence is therefore not "not to have sex", but is "to live a healthy and loving lifestyle."
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However, "abstinence" doesn't sound nice. One argument against the call for "no sex" is that sex is natural, and thus asking people "not" to have sex is unnatural. Furthermore, we observe that all animals and insects and birds are free to have sex. So how??
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Yes, sex is natural, but it is not just natural, it is also special. It comes to the awareness of us when we have already some power to control ourselves. It is something that can be abstain from, unlike other natural desires. Lastly and most importantly, it is a significant event that should only be carried out with the right person, at the right time, in the right place, when all necessary conditions are met with.
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Another objection to "no sex" is to question who can confidently say that he or she can still say no when the person is together naked with another person on a bed? But such situation doesn't arrise out of a sudden. It only can happen after many choices that we made earlier. Therefore, the focus is not saying no, but making the proper choices.
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Therefore, self-control is making the correct choices. It is part of growing up since we are making choices in our daily life. It is not unnatural, and it is not solely about the will power to say no.
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These are some of the very obvious choices directly link to what kind of lifestyle we will be living. A person who mix around with soccer fans, like to stay around stadiums, most of the time wearing shorts and soccer boots, read and watch many soccer matches when free and like to imagine the joy of scoring a nice goal, will surely have no will power not to play soccer for a year or even a month.
Therefore, if the choices we make are all related to sex, then we would also have no will power not to have sex for a year or so.
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The main point here is not just not to have sex. We want to avoid the hurt and disappointment of pre-marital sex but strive for the most wonderful sexual experience. Such a wonder experience can only happen in a loving relationship that is first committed centering on a marriage.
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Having pre-marital or pre-matured sex can only bring about undesirable effects. It causes us to loose the freedom to love and be loved before marriage. It also causes us to loose the chance of becoming a truely mature person.
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The following two questions have obvious answers.
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Basically, there is this idealistic hope within us to look for the ideal love partner. Therefore, shouldn't we try to qualify ourselves to be someone else ideal love partner? By living a healthy love lifestyle is the way. The next part will touch on the issue of love. Do read on. :)
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Part Three