Blessing and Ideal Family
by Reverend Sun Myung Moon
Chapter One
Part 3
TRUE MARRIAGE AND TRUE LOVE
1. THE SIGNIFICANCE OF MARRIAGE
Marriage can be said to be a ceremony which allows you to open the
door of a palace of happiness and enter into it. Therefore, marriage
is the biggest event for humankind. Love transcends time and space and
it is the greatest thing for humankind. Marriage is a ceremony that
reveals and confirms this greatest love.
**
Why do we term the marriage ceremony "to receive the Blessing?"
According to the Principle, if Adam and Eve had not fallen and had
become perfected, they would have stood in the position to receive the
Blessing. In other words, they were to be the substantial objects of
God. Once they were perfected, they would have been objects who
totally received love from God as the subject. Through their Blessing,
or marriage, God's love would have appeared in the world.
If there were no marriage, then what is called love would not have
started in the human world. Who is the master of that love? We must
know that the master is not man or woman, but God. When God's love is
manifested in us, it becomes God's joy and pride, and we are able to
feel this as God's love.
Love cannot be realized alone; it is only realized through a
reciprocal relationship. Therefore, when man tries to realize love, he
cannot do it by himself alone. The same can be said about woman. When
Adam and Eve unite through love, they are able to receive God's love
for the first time. From this viewpoint, we can understand that we
human beings are born from God.
**
When two people who love each other give and take in a reciprocal
relationship, consoling each other when they are sad, sharing joy
together when they are happy, helping each other when they have
difficulties and going forward together before God, this indeed is
married life on the foundation of God's love.
The reason God made man and woman not in heaven but on earth was to
realize God's love horizontally. When you form a subject and object
relationship and unite horizontally, the love that combines the two
with the subject God is a vertical relationship of love This fact is
extremely important.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus came to earth as a man. Before building
God's nation as the King of kings, Jesus as a bridegroom was to meet a
bride on earth. Jesus came as the highest standard of all love. Jesus
was to appear as a man on a horizontal base, pick a perfected woman,
and unite with her centering on the one hundred percent original love
of man given from God and the one hundred percent original love of
woman also given from God. Then God would come down to seek His lost
dignity and honor. When heaven and earth unite through this give and
take of original love, then everything in heaven and earth will
harmonize naturally and respond.
2. WHY WE MARRY
For what reason do we marry? It is in order to fulfill the ideal of
creation, i.e., to realize the purpose of creation. Then, whose
purpose is this purpose of creation? Before it is the purpose of Adam,
it is the purpose of God. Therefore, before Adam feels happy, God has
to feel happy. It has to be like this. Then, in this respect, for whom
do we get married? It is for God, and for God's will, which is the
purpose of creation. God's will is to fulfill the ideal of creation.
The ideal of creation cannot be realized centering on oneself. All my
heart (shim jung) should unite with God who is the subject; when God
moves, I should move, and when God is still, I should be still, too.
We should become united internally and externally, centering on a
heartistic point of unity. Therefore, unless we set up a base to
harmonize with God, we are not able to realize the purpose of
creation.
**
The reason I am getting married is not only for myself but is also for
my spouse. What does it mean to get married for the sake of your
spouse more than yourself? As everything in the universe is formed
according to the principle of subject and object, for man and woman to
get married is also a rule in the universe.
If man is on the right side, woman becomes the left side in order to
form a horizontal relationship with the universe. If man is the
subject, then woman becomes the object in order to form a vertical,
upper and lower relationship with God. Therefore, marriage is not for
the sake of just man or just woman. We have to get married in order to
follow the heavenly law. This is why man and woman have different
aspects. They are born that way in order to match with the heavenly
law.
**
Man is born to meet woman and woman is born to meet man. And man and
woman together are born to combine with a higher level of love which
is God's love. Neither man nor woman can touch God's love alone. If a
man or a woman alone tried to unite with God's love, it would just be
a one-sided love. Neither one would be able to combine with a three-
dimensional, spherical love.
Therefore, man and woman must get married in order to jump into the
realm of a higher-level three-dimensional love. In the original world,
the more man and woman become united, the greater the center of the
activating power becomes, forming a sphere. Therefore, the more man
and woman connect horizontally, the more God, who is the maternal womb
of the vertical power of love, becomes connected. Then our mind and
body become united.
**
The reason for woman to meet man is to understand man's world. For
what reason do women try to take over the world of men? It is to
realize the unity of love.
**
Why do we get married? How good would it be if you did not have to get
married if you did not want to? If women did not get married, they
would not be able to live fully as a woman and would even get sick.
Centering on all the circulating system, a woman's body is made to
meet man and to function normally through married life. Women must
know that it is not normal to stay unmarried. Therefore, the ideal
behavior for a woman is to go through a normal life-course.
What is the normal way? The normal way means the middle way where the
average of all aspects can come together in unity. This middle the
normal way where everything will be in harmony. It will not have any
attachment or tilt toward one side or the other.
Where would the road of destiny of an individual, a man or a woman,
lead? I am sure no one would want to go down a winding road of
destiny. The original psyche of man desires to go a straight way. Both
man and woman desire to choose a family life, which complies with
their destiny.
**
Single men and women of today think that after becoming successful,
they will form a good family and be good parents. Therefore, husbands,
wives, men and women all desire to have a good partner. Why is this
so? This is because they feel they are inadequate. Although they feel
inadequate, they desire to have excellent sons and daughters. Wouldn't
it be great if you could supplement your inadequacies and become
better through your reciprocal partner? With these thoughts deep in
mind, people desire to love someone.
**
I want to ask you, where is the Unification Church heading? To Moscow?
Then, what is the Unification Church to do by going there? It is easy.
We are to go there looking for the kingdom of heaven on earth. Then,
why are we to get married? We cannot go to heaven without getting
married. We must get married in order to qualify to enter heaven. What
is the qualification to enter heaven? It is to resemble God. Then, how
can we resemble God? We can resemble God by practicing God's words. We
must make God's love my love and God's words my words.
Therefore, representing God, I would say to the world, "You mankind!
You should go to heaven!" And then I would say, "In order to go to
heaven, I should love mankind as God does and take the whole world
with me to heaven." Then you would be a person of God, a person on
heaven's side, and there would be no mistake in concluding that you
are qualified to go to heaven. Then you would be well qualified to get
married.
Well? What was the reason for us to get married? In order to go to
heaven. Also, for the sake of humankind. Men should know that the
women standing before them are God's daughters and the daughters of
all humankind. Man is qualified to become a husband if he can love a
woman as a woman loved by all humankind and as God loves her as His
daughter. If he cannot, then he is not qualified to become a husband.
This is true for women, too. You should not think that man is my
husband. Before thinking of your husband as "my man," you should think
of him as God's son and as a man representing all men.
You should become a woman who can love more than the whole of
humankind and even more than God. And you should get married thinking
that you will transmit the footprints of love for God and for
humankind through your family, by yourself becoming the right foot
representing man and the left foot representing woman. Because the
right leg is the husband and the left leg is the wife, you end up
being one-legged if you do not get married. Furthermore, the right and
the left legs are to become perfect. If either side cannot become
perfect, you are disabled. Therefore, you can have a harmonious
marriage only by man and woman both becoming perfect.
Therefore, what I like about my husband is what I like about humankind
and about God. And loving my husband is my loving humankind and loving
God.
**
The purpose of marriage is to unify the world of heart and to perfect
the love of man and woman. Therefore, to say that you have married is
to proclaim that you will prove this. If you have realized the
perfection of love and the perfection of heart through married life,
then we can say that you have realized the ideal of a family. If you
have realized this, then at the time of death, without a doubt you
will be able to go to heaven.
3. THE TRUE PERSPECTIVE OF MARRIAGE
From the viewpoint of the Principle of Creation or the ideal of
creation, marriage should take place at the level of perfection.
When Adam and Eve reached perfection, they were to come before God to
be married. We call this level at which marriage can be held the
perfection level. When you reach the perfection level, you have a
value similar to becoming physically and spiritually united before
God.
Through what is the unity of both the physical and spirit bodies
brought about? It is through love.
If Adam and Eve had become mature and united through love, before even
appearing before God they each would have realized naturally that they
were each other's ideal spouse. If Adam and Eve had realized that they
were each other's ideal spouse, then they would have stood at a level
of horizontal love. At the point where this horizontal love begins,
Adam and Eve will start to adore each other. Therefore, man and woman
become perfected when love formed through a reciprocal base is
realized on a plane, which then forms a right angle as it connects
with God's perpendicular love.
Two people uniting together signifies the same thing as Adam and Eve,
who are the dual substantial objects of God uniting together. This is
also the same as God's original Sung Sang and original Hyung Sang,
i.e., the plus and the minus, coming together.
Originally, if Adam and Eve, with their mind and body completely
united, had become perfectly matured vertically, and if they had
formed an objective realm by becoming a bride and bridegroom who could
come in joy before God, and if they had realized a family of God's
love through receiving God's Blessing, this would have been the
perfection realm originally meant to be realized in the Garden of
Eden. If Adam and Eve had been able to appear in that perfected realm,
how would that place be characterized? It would be the place where the
Blessing can be given.
The most precious grace of all is God's love. The next is lo inherit
God s right of creation. As God created Adam and Eve centered on love,
it is the children who can inherit the right of creation. Why do you
love your children? It is similar to inheriting God's work of creation
the horizontal substantial realm. Therefore, you can feel the
happiness which God felt when He created Adam and Eve.
Next, in order for God to enable us to have dominion over all things
as He does, God gave us the right of dominion in the horizontal
position. We call the world which can stand in the proper stage with
this right, according to proper order, the ideal heaven. Therefore,
you must know that the time of marriage is the time when you inherit
God's love, power and the right of recreation in the perfection realm.
Therefore, the marriage ceremony is the expression of love and at the
same time is the ceremony to inherit the right of creation and
dominion.
**
We see marriage as being like the cushion of the universe . . . like a
cushion on which you sit. What is the best silk in the universe? Is it
yang dan (a kind of expensive silk fabric) ? Instead of starting your
new married life with a blanket of yang dan and quilt, you should
think of loving each other with a blanket of universal yang dan. You
should think this way.
A woman is half of the universe. When a woman sticks to a man, 180
degrees and 180 degrees come together, and in order to form a realm
equal in value to the universe they have to get married. Thinking of
marriage this way, this concept from the Unification Church is so
wonderful.
Then what are we to do? Do you like flowers without any fragrance?
Flowers without fragrance are not interesting. Would you say, "If I
were to become a flower, I would want to become a green flower"? Have
you ever seen a green flower? Even when I went to a botanical garden,
I could not find a green flower. A flower similar to a leaf does not
bloom. By looking at just that, we can say that God exists. Leaves are
all green, but have you ever seen a green flower? What is that? There
is just one flower which is very close to green. It is the flower of
the red pepper. But if you look closely, it is not completely green.
It consists of red and other colors. Why is that? It must have that
appearance in order to contribute to the harmony of heaven and earth
and the law of creation. See! Our perspective of marriage is this
wonderful. How wonderful is the perspective of marriage of our
Unification Church!
Then does it also contain historical significance? What has God been
doing until now while dreaming of this ideal family? God has been
searching for this level of man and woman throughout history, but
there were none. God could not find anyone who would think this way or
even mention these things.
**
In order for your journey on the road of love to bear fruit, you must
understand the situation of the participants -- God, my parents and
myself. We all are born with a public purpose; therefore, in order for
us to bear fruit, we must base ourselves on a public purpose. There is
no other way to be restored to our original birthplace. This is the
Unification perspective of marriage.
**
You must believe that marriage is not for your sake, but for your
partner. It is wrong to desire to marry a handsome or beautiful
person. If you have understood the basic principle that people are to
live for the sake of others, you should know that you will get married
for the sake of your spouse. No matter how ugly a person is, you
should be determined to try to love him or her more than you love a
beautiful person. This is the basic perspective of marriage. If you do
not have an established concept that you can love your spouse more
than anyone else and think of him or her as God and all humankind, you
cannot be restored to the heavenly nation. As a man, if you cannot
even love one woman, you will not be able to love God or humankind.
**
For whom are we to get married? We are to get married for the mutual
benefit of all humankind. The husband is a man representing the whole
world, and the wife is a woman representing the whole world. Then
where is this to begin? It is to start from a place representing the
whole world. Marriage is for God's will and is what all humankind
publicly hopes for.
The free love rampant in today's world is a trap which Satan made to
cause men to fall and to make them unable to come closer to God. Once
you are trapped, you can only die or be dominated by Satan. Western
people of today, especially in the United States, are unable to form a
true family because of the prevalence of free love. The number of
people who have failed in their family life is increasing, and the
people who are unable to have a family are becoming dominant. I can
definitely say with confidence that American society has become a
hellish society where love has dried up and where distrust, anxiety
and fear are dominant. You must know that you who are living in this
age have the responsibility and duty to clean up this society and
build one flowing with the love for which God hopes.
**
Marriage is not for your own sake. If you have a self-centered
marriage, your whole family will be destroyed. To want to live a happy
life by getting married self-centeredly is just a one-night dream. The
problem is your future.
**
Unificationists of today should not stay still in this present
situation, but should develop from now. You should bear offspring with
the fortune of the nation and of the world. Marriage is what tries to
find people who can create a new nation and new world. Until now,
people of this world have said that they will marry for themselves;
however, marriage in our Unification Church is a marriage for the sake
of the nation and the world.
**
Why do we get married? We get married for the sake of the nation.
**
Why do we receive the Blessing? We received the Blessing in order to
disseminate it to the whole world.
**
Korean law forbids marriages between people having the same last name
and coming from the same ancestral background, and encourages
marriages between people coming from different ancestral backgrounds.
This is because Korean people are people who yearn for the unification
of their country.
**
If you look at the old-style Korean marriage ceremony, you will notice
that the bride and bridegroom bow down to each other. Do you know why
they bow down to each other? It is to pledge to live for the sake of
each other. If you do not live for the sake of the other, love will go
away.
**
When a woman goes to live with her in-laws, one may think she is just
going to a man because she was born as a woman; another may think she
is going in order to save the country. The reason for a woman to get
married is not only in order to share happiness together with a man.
It is not just to meet one man or for the sake of a family or for the
happiness of one woman. Great is the woman who marries for the sake of
the nation, thinking she is representing all the women in Korea. Do
you understand what I mean?
In the past, there was a woman named Masako who was the wife of King
Young Chin. Masako came from Japan to Korea to get married. For what
reason could she have come? Was it in order to love a Korean man? It
was for the sake of the country. This kind of person is famous in
history. This marriage was politically arranged in order to form a tie
between Korea and Japan after liberation. This woman will remain in
history as a sacrifice representing all Japanese women. Don't you
think so? This woman's marriage is historical because the purpose of
the marriage was large.
Then, who in all heaven and earth tried to get married with the
biggest purpose? It was Jesus. When Jesus came as a bridegroom looking
for a bride, he wanted to get married for the sake of the world. He
was the only person with that purpose.
4. THE CHANGES OF ADOLESCENCE AND THE RIGHT
TIME OF MARRIAGE
During our childhood, we desire only to grow up healthy. But when we
reach adolescence, changes occur physically and mentally; our interest
in the opposite sex grows and we're attracted to good looks.
Externally, we try to dress up fashionably and concentrate on making
our faces look more beautiful. We can tell if a girl has reached
adolescence or not by the look of her lips.
Girls will begin menstruating and their physical body will start to
look different. Their hips grow bigger, breasts develop, lips grow red
and their eyes begin to have a mysterious glow. For what and whom do
you think these physical changes occur?
These physical changes occur to make a straight road go around in
circles, to start a circular movement. Going straight cannot bring any
harmony. When we go back and forth on a straight road, it will not
bring any harmony, but only will destroy the environment. Everything
must go around in order to preserve and bring harmony to the
environment. Everything must go around for this reason. But we cannot
go around by ourselves. We need to go around centering on our
reciprocal partner (spouse).
Coming together with our partner will start a circular movement
automatically. This is the principle of heaven and earth. Therefore,
physical changes occur in girls to enable them to meet their partner
and to go around. When two people are attracted to each other, there
develops a power to make them go around. Therefore, the reason women
dress up and wear make-up is not for their own sake, but for their
partners.
**
When is a person in full bloom? It is during young adulthood. This age
is the seven-year period from age of eighteen to twenty-five. This
period of seven years is the time when the flower of love blossoms the
most. How precious is this once-in-a-lifetime period when one is fully
blooming!
You all know the peony (magnolia), don't you? The bud of this flower
has a different-colored yellow flower inside. How many layers of
petals does it have? The petals are all tightly wound together on the
flower. Can you push them open? They are tightly coiled so that it
cannot be easily opened up. Men and women are similar to this. When is
your bud of love going to blossom? That time is when beauty is
manifested to the greatest degree: in the midst of harmony in the
universe. This is the best time for people, also. It is the
masterpiece of God, and it is the period which shines as the very
center and the best. Isn't it so?
During the growth period, adolescence is when one becomes most
beautiful. A person in adolescence is like the bud of the most
beautiful flower. The person who can love adolescents the most can
receive God's grace and can be invited to God's room. Do you
understand what I am talking about? Can you understand this kind of
love? Then, are you able to be like that now? If you have understood
and you are a man, you should start preparing what is needed.
**
Adolescence is when you feel as though you have become a prince of the
whole country. Isn't it so? It is a period when you turn everything
upside down centered on yourself. Adolescence is a time when you talk
back. So if you push yourself, you can easily go in a different
direction. This- is why juvenile delinquency has become a worldwide
problem today. During adolescence, you cannot be happy unless
everything you do is self-centered. You feel so proud when even a
small thing gets involved centered on you.
I saw a girl around twenty years old laugh without any reason. She
would laugh, "ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. . . ," even when she saw a ripe
persimmon drop from a tree during autumn season after all the leaves
have fallen. They can understand and feel things without knowing what
it is they are feeling. Because everything happens in relationship
with her, she gets to have the best feeling. Therefore, adolescence is
a point of conversion when one can be in touch with everything and
form a relationship.
Why is this? This is because of the original nature of creation which
seeks to unite man and woman one hundred percent completely, centered
on God's love. However, because of a mistake, this nature was dented,
stepped on, broken, like a crack in a beautiful bowl.
Originally, man and woman have the nature to unite centered on God's
love. God's love is unlimited. God's love powers all life on earth. If
this love were inside all people, the world would be filled with holy
people.
**
Even to the most beautiful girl, adolescence only comes once. During
that time, she is the most beautiful flower of all, and it is the most
precious time for her in her entire lifetime. So would a girl think,
"I want to live alone"? Such a person is not a woman. Does such an
animal exist? (Laughter.) Also, among men who look very good at the
age around sixteen, would any of them say he wants to live alone? At
this time they all start to look for a reciprocal partner Whom do they
resemble that makes them this way? They are this way because they
resemble God. If God is not like this, how can His children be like
this? It is because God is like that. During adolescence, which is the
most precious time in one's life, the desire to seek a partner is the
same in man and woman. Is it so, or not? If you think it's not, go
ahead and age and die alone.
Try saying to a beautiful woman, "Beautiful women are said to be
unfortunate. A beautiful person like you should age and die alone."
Even a quiet beautiful woman would really get mad. Nothing worse can
be said to a person. This beautiful woman will have value only when
there is a man who appreciates her completely and connects her to
heavenly love. Therefore, is a person with an unstable emotion happy
or unhappy? Grandmothers, please answer. They say she is unhappy. It
is true.
**
When is love linked? When does the power of love push us out? When man
and woman reach adolescence and all their physical functions reach one
hundred percent perfection, everything comes to a halt. Everything
becomes saturated. Movements always go through a saturation point.
They come to a halt once and then they start moving again. Everything
reaches a point of saturation and stops.
The stage prior to becoming saturated is the period of adolescence.
Adolescence is the period when all physical functions reach the stage
of maturity. For example, it is similar to a balloon which is filled
with air up to the point of bursting. It would burst if a little more
air is put in. How wonderful would it be to burst after the completion
of love! Similarly, when a person reaches the age of eighteen, he or
she becomes stretched out to the point just before bursting. Then they
are able to start rotating so beautifully for eternity.
**
When our spiritual and physical bodies completely unite, original love
comes within us. Even in the fallen world, during the time of
adolescence, man and woman can stand on a parallel line where our
spiritual and physical cells harmonize. During adolescence, the cells
of our spiritual and physical bodies joyfully greet everything with
open doors.
The human world during God-centered adolescence would be filled with
joy and happiness.
**
When you unmarried men and women during adolescence meet and talk,
your hearts bounce, don't they? You become excited and a change starts
occurring in your mind. However, if your mind does not center on God
and comes to stand on the opposite side, it becomes evil. Your mind
should be centered on whom? God. It is true love that can bring you up
to a place where your God-centered heart and shim jung can unite. Can
you understand? Because human beings should live their whole life like
this, men and women are to have ideals and hopes that are centered on
love.
What makes you shine at the final stage is love. Love which is not
conscientious is not love. You may not understand what I am talking
about now, but you will be able to understand once you get married.
**
I am sure that very often male students want to look at the faces of
female students and female students want to look at the faces of male
students without any reason. Isn't that so? That time has come. This
is because you are still young. When you are fifteen or sixteen and
become high school students, your thoughts turn toward your partners.
Your eyes go around in circles. Don't you think so, high school
students? Please be honest. How are your minds? Do you dislike being
with male students or is it nice? Tell me at once!
Well! It's O.K. for female students not to answer because they are
women. Men, it's not bad to have female students around, is it? Now is
the age of adolescence. This is why even Hyo Jin, when he sees a
female student.... I'm telling a true story. When you are frank,
everything will be understood, anywhere. This is why I am being frank.
If you think it's a lie, you are wrong. I am talking very frankly.
Male students think only about how female students are looking at
them, and female students are the same. You think, "Oh, I should comb
my hair," or "I should take care of my dress," or you look into a
mirror. You do this not thinking of how it looks to you, but only of
how male students are looking at you. Isn't that so, female students?
Then how about male students?
This is good and natural. It is not bad that you think that way. But I
am telling you to think with a more artistic heart.
**
When you reach adolescence, you become more ambitious, going in and
out, to and from many places. By the way, from now on, an unmarried
man will need a bride and a bride will need an unmarried man. Isn't
that so? Those who think it's wrong should quit.
**
A nicely-dressed woman's eyes shine even more brightly when she sees a
man. In order to find a partner, it is very natural to dress up. women
walk around with their hearts burning to meet a handsome or ideal man.
**
When would God think is the time men and women feel The most
happiness? Would God say, "I feel good looking at an aged couple laugh
and dance, saying they love each other"? Or would God be happier
watching a young man and woman, in love through both mind and body,
sing and dance together?
What is happiness to human beings? Can we say we are happy when we
have a lot of money and wear many diamonds? Can we say we feel happy
by dressing up gorgeously with perfume and make-up, singing and
dancing? Of course, each person would differ slightly. But true
happiness can only be found when you become intoxicated in love with
your spouse, laughing, singing and whispering. The person who can do
this is a happy person.
A person who hears whispering words from his or her lover can be said
to be a happy person. Whispered words of love in your ears make you
feel so happy that you feel you are in a dream. The time when
happiness is the most flowering and most meaningful is during young
adulthood, when the power of love is overflowing. This is the time
when you can grab love with all your might and become unified through
love.
**
Omniscient and almighty God created a time when man and woman can
blossom beautifully. That time is young adulthood. To these newly
matured men and women God gave the blessing of marriage as a gate to
gain happiness. Everything in this world loses the value of its
existence if it does not engage in an ideal reciprocal relationship.
Therefore, it is a very natural development for man and woman to
receive the Blessing and get married after growing and becoming
mature.
**
You will be in trouble if you try to rush the experience of love. The
feeling of being intoxicated by love and becoming happy is like a
preview of what is to come when the time is right for the gate of love
to open. But you should wait until the time the gate opens to enter.
The gate should proudly open when you have become the master of love.
**
When do you think is the right age to get married? When your mind and
body have the most perfected power is the precise time to get married.
Your power weakens when this time passes, and then no matter how much
you try to maintain your naivete, it becomes difficult to seek a
partner.
5. EDUCATION AND MARRIAGE
Marriage opens the door to human happiness. Studying in order to open
the door to happiness is very good. However, if that study is for the
purpose of becoming rich or powerful, it is a mistake. Study must be
for the purpose of attaining true love.
**
Why do you go to school? Happiness cannot exist without love.
Therefore, we can say that the purpose of going to school is to
shorten the road to love.
**
When young women go to university to earn a degree, ultimately it is
in order to meet a good husband. There is no other reason. No matter
how great a man is, he would be an unhappy person if he could not form
a family that is united.
**
The reason for studying is to meet a true man and to become a true
mother. In order to become a true mother, a woman must study for the
country and become a true wife who can serve her husband as a true
man. If you cannot gain this stature as a person, you will not be able
to serve your true husband or have a true son. A woman must become a
true wife and, as the homemaker of the family, must get along well
with the husband until old age. If the study is for the purpose of
becoming a good wife, then wouldn't all university graduates
eventually be gray haired couples? However, among university graduates
are there more gray haired couples or people who get divorced?
Needless to say, people who are uneducated live together happily for a
longer time.
6. ADOLESCENCE AND FIRST LOVE
Therefore, as a result, we can say that the reason that women search
for men and men search for women is to find God's love. The
fulfillment of love is the road which leads to the most ideal
hometown.
**
For example, when we reach adolescence, our mind and body start
searching for love. We walk around without even listening to the words
of our parents. The eyes of the mind and the eyes of the body unite
into one and move around. If we have a nose of love we may come to
like a smell we hated before. If we have a mouth of love, we may come
to like a taste which we usually dislike. We want to listen to love
stories all night long. Once you touch your object of love, you don't
want to stop. Therefore, if you are invaded by the feeling of love
during your adolescence, your eyes turn strange and everything seems
wonderful to you.
When your mind and body unite and you fire a love gun, the bullet
would be shot right into your partner's heart. Those who wish to have
this kind of man's love or woman's love, please raise your hand. There
is nothing love cannot digest. Love can eat and digest everything. If
you have true love, no matter how ugly a man is, he will look handsome
to you. Love is incredible. Therefore, whether good or bad, men and
women can never forget the first love they experienced during their
adolescence.
**
If a woman has a lover whom she loves at the cost of her life, but she
has to marry a different man because of her parents' opposition, will
she be happy throughout her life or not? For that woman, even if the
man whom she first loved had a broken nose or irregular eyes, he would
look wonderful to her, like a flower. Even if the man whom her parents
chose was a person whom everyone agreed was wonderful in all aspects
from external appearance to internal intelligence, the man for whom
she had love in her heart a long time ago would be better, even though
he was not so good externally. You can believe my words, can't you?
("Yes!") But you don't belong to this class of people, do you?
(Laughter.)
First love can dominate everything. Who is the subject of love? It is
God. Since the subject of love is God, God is the only one who can
love. Originally, man was supposed to make God his first love.
However, the fall interfered.
With whom did Eve first make love? ("With the archangel!") Eve was
supposed to be loved with joy, but she had to love crying, with a
frowning face. Do you think Eve said when falling, "Oh, it's good.
It's very delicious to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of
good and evil"? When Eve was being raped by the archangel, what did
she feel in her heart? She felt the pangs of conscience as she was
unwillingly being pulled by the seduction of the archangel. Eve was
supposed to love with all her body cells, feeling joy as though she
were a flower waiting for an early spring to come. However, she loved
with all of her cells and heart dying.
**
Did you feel that first love was precious? I'm not sure . . . -- how
did you feel? ("It's precious.") You are much cleverer than I. That's
right. Those who answered seem to have experienced first love.
(Laughter.) You should
be silent when you are asked this king of question. I just mentioned
it to make you listen. If I heard that answer coming from the sisters
sitting here, I was going to scold you, but since it was an ugly-
looking man who answered, I persevered! Anyway, you have heard that
first love is good.
Then with whom did you make this first love? Please think. If you had
not fallen, with whom would you have made your first love? You should
have made your first love with God. If Adam and Eve had made their
first love centering on God, that first love would have been packed
with love. Parent's love centering on the first love, husband and
wife's love centering on the first love, children's love centering on
the first love -- every root would be tightly connected with God's
love. It is not love like yours that is separated by several thousand
years of historical distance and that has to go through steps of
individual or family restoration. It is love that can stick parents'
love, husband and wife's love, and children's love all together at
once.
**
The person who abandons this first love for God cannot go before God.
The person who can say that he would abandon everything and would live
and die because of his love for God can go to heaven. The first love
between man and woman is also important.
Reverend Moon of the Unification Church held mass weddings gathering
men and women of goodness in order to connect their God-centered first
love. These men and women married, transcending nation and race, in
order to realize God's love. Therefore, I heard people say that
Reverend Moon became crazy. I heard these voices because of first
love.
You must look at yourselves from this viewpoint. "How evil and hateful
a mind and body do I have, and what a hateful being I am, betraying my
own mind and body." If you find yourselves like this, you should know
that it is urgent to change yourselves first before saying, "Oh, God.
Please save me with love."
**
There are many young people these days who go around making love on
the streets. I'm sure no one acts like this after joining the
Unification Church, but I'm sure you were like this before joining the
Church.
When a woman who loves a certain man finds another man much better
than first man, changes her mind, and says "Goodbye, goodbye" to her
former lover, would it feel good or bad? ("Bad.") How bad would it be?
I think you would want to destroy the woman and throw the man away.
That's the heart of love.
It is the same for women. Would a woman feel good or bad if her
husband, whom she deeply loved, started to love another woman? Any
person who says she would feel good is much better off to die. There
should not be even one person who feels good. Think about it. Because
of man's pride, can you watch quietly when your wife is loving another
man? You would feel better seeing her stop even if she had to stab
herself with a knife. A man who doesn't have the guts for this is not
a man. If this happened to me, I would feel the same way.
7. MIND AND BODY MUST UNITE
Today we know that within the body of a single individual, the power
of the original mind, which desires goodness, is at violent war with
the power of the wicked mind, which desires evil. These two minds are
in great contradiction. When did this contradiction between the human
mind and body begin? It began at the time of the fall. Through the
fall of our first human ancestors, we came to have a mind and body
that always fight and struggle, causing fights between families,
societies and nations, and shedding the blood of unhappiness.
**
We must clearly know the reason that our mind and body cannot unite.
If God exists, why would God have created persons whose minds and
bodies cannot unite? An individual is born on this earth without
knowing what human beings are like and what man and woman are like. If
the only way for a man or woman to unite is through the way of love,
then why couldn't we be born with an original foundation to be united?
Why couldn't God create humankind like that? This is the problem. (Why
did God create humankind to absolutely require the love of God?) When
we think from this point of view, we can come up with the theory that
neither God nor man and woman have been able to stand in their
original normal position.
**
For us human beings, the most important thing is love; therefore,
unless man and woman each search for love in a reciprocal position,
they can never find God's love. God's love can only come to a place
where the mind and body of true man and true woman come together in
unity without any struggles.
**
You must become a parent with mind and body united, being able to love
your true children by connecting the true husband's love, true wife's
love and true God's love. When this is realized, a perfect family can
be formed. True love appears where mind and body are united. True love
should dwell in the heart and mind of a husband and wife; and by
becoming one, they should give birth to their sons and daughters
Furthermore, you must revere God more than your husband or wife. This
is necessary for you, but it will be different when the age of your
sons and daughters comes. You should love True Parents much more than
you love your husband. The Principle says that after this, you can
love your husband and your sons and daughters.
**
Do you know about the three points? Where these three points can come
together is where God, Adam and Eve can come together. The place where
God can unite with Adam and Eve is where Adam and Eve's mind and body
unite. This is the place where their heart and shim jung unite as
well.
**
Then, where is the place a perfected man and woman live? It is the
place where man and woman can, centering on the public heavenly
providence, receive the love of God, completely unite their minds and
bodies, and serve God as the subject. When a man and woman come to
live in this place, they stand in the position of perfected Adam and
Eve. When such people form a family and make a new start, this becomes
an historical beginning. This becomes the historical first step of
life. Adam and Eve were to realize this first step, but because of the
fall they failed to do so. Therefore, in order to restore this, you
must go searching for this place today.
**
Man's mind and body are in a relationship of subject and object, and
this produces the power of existence by continuing the action of
vertical and horizontal. Woman, too, has a mind and body forming a
vertical and horizontal relationship and the power of existence
results from that. Both man and woman have the reciprocal relationship
of vertical and horizontal which is formed through the power of love.
Only love can maintain the eternal ideal relationship of the mind and
body.
**
Suppose a person is a poor farmer cutting grass in the countryside. If
there is a burning emotion of love bursting in the mind and body of
the farmer, his mind's five senses and physical five senses will
completely unite, making him feel joy he never experienced before.
If there is a place in yourselves where God's love dwells, when God's
heart swings once like the pendulum of a clock, your heart will also
swing once. Therefore, you start to go around with God. Once you start
to go around, you continue to turn. The further you go, the more the
centrifugal force will activate, demanding that you love your family,
society, nation and world more and more deeply.
**
When your mind and body become united and when you reach the point
where you are to open the gate of love, your mind will resonate with
the universe and you will become a writer or poet. When you can write
a poem or story about love, it means that you are displaying the
ability to connect love beautifully and happily.
When an eye of love opens, your mind and body will want to form a
multi-dimensional relationship in the universe. You naturally will
feel the law of nature and will smile watching the falling leaves
dance in the autumn wind. You will also feel as though you yourself
were becoming a flower and you will want to feel the beauty of the
spring flowers.
**
Why do both man and woman enjoy love? A human being's body is formed
from approximately four hundred trillion cells. All of these cells
activate when a human being loves with true love. You should know that
the time when a man and a woman love is the time they can activate all
the cells of their bodies.
**
When your mind and body unite and shed tears of longing for someone,
your bones will start making sounds. This is same in the case of
animals. I'm sure you all know what happens during the mating season
of cows. They even forget to eat. At that time, all nerves long only
for mating. Similarly, when you love and long for each other with your
mind and body united, there is no cell that remains still. All cells
forget their original sense of direction and concentrate into one.
When you meet your spouse, all the cells explode. This power of the
explosion is enormous.
What are we to do by loving like this? We are to become like God. We
would be able to feel happiness whenever God is happy. In other words,
we try to feel the happiness together with God.
**
We must unite mind and body. There are two ways: one way is to unite
your mind centering on your body, the other is to unite your body
centering on your mind. You must choose the way to make your body
become united centering on your mind. Even when your mind changes, it
is better to unite centering on your mind. If you are searching for an
ideal love, it is necessary to go this way. We conclude that we must
make our minds and bodies unite centering on our minds.
**
Members of the Unification Church should always be able to unite their
bodies with the standard of their minds which is to center always on
public thoughts. Centering or the purpose for which your mind seeks,
your body should go out without any hesitation. In any difficult
situation, if I made a decision to fulfill a goal, my mind and body
never changed. Even if I had to go into a miserable situation, I
played a game in order to overcome that difficulty. I had no
hesitation at all because I always carried the thought that I would
fulfill the goal by overcoming the difficulties.
Similarly, no matter how much you have to sacrifice, you should try to
make your body unite centering on the purpose of your mind, God's
will, God's unified world and God's ideal of creation. If you are not
determined to go the sacrificial way, you will have to pay indemnity -
- by becoming sick, for example.
Therefore, your mind and body should unite centering on your mind.
Then, a man and a woman whose mind and body are united should become
one centering on a family.
8. THE PERFECTION OF TRUE LOVE
True Love is at the summit of the world of love; it starts from the
highest point in the world. As thunder and lightning come down from
heaven, true love also thunders down like lightning from a very high
place.
When human beings love with true love, their cells are one hundred
percent activated. Even in this fallen world, when a man and woman
love each other, they say that electricity goes through them. The
electricity that occurs for them is what comes from the archangel;
therefore, it is only unicellular. The electricity that occurs in the
original world is the lightning of a universal-level love and its
power would be several thousand times stronger than normal lightning.
Moreover, the sound made by all the cells of each organism would be
the same as thunder. It is the Principle view that man and woman
loving in the original world would not be able to meet God unless they
put all their energy toward the point where the lightning of love
meets. This also is the perfection of the purpose of creation.
**
From whom do you think true love, which forgives and embraces every-
thing, starts? True love does not start from human beings. True love
starts from God, who is the subject. God created human beings with
true love; therefore, God desires to receive true love from humankind.
Then, by God's returning that true love once again to man, God and man
both perfect true love.
What is the holiest thing in this world? The holiest thing in this
world is true love. True love starts from God If God exists, there is
no other way. God sincerely desires man to go the way of true love,
and we must know that we cannot stand before God unless we go the way
of true love. God desires to see, listen, eat and touch through love.
Man desires this also. If we receive a kiss from God, we feel as
though our insides are exploding with joy. This is where God's desire
is. God does not feel happiness by possessing diamonds or jewels.
**
Any power melts before true love. Just looking at or touching it makes
you happy.
**
True Love completes the ideal of the unification of the universe. If a
painting does not include the taste of true love, you would want to
throw up even if it is a so-called masterpiece. If true love
disappears between a husband and wife, their relationship is over.
**
What is the most precious thing for woman? It is man. Then what sort
of man do you need? How he looks or how healthy he is not important.
What is important is whether you can find valuable love in that man.
This is the same in woman. A woman with true love is a true woman.
Then, what is that true love? It is appropriate to define true love as
that which can love very low things even more than high things.
Why is it so? Love is an action. A person who only looks at high
things cannot unite with low things. Therefore, this person cannot
become true. Love can be found through reciprocal action; therefore,
if love can relate with high places from a lower place, it can be
eternal and can go anywhere. Then, for the first time love becomes
genuine. Therefore, we can come up with the concept of eternity when
we try to make the love of the lower higher than love of the higher.
In this respect, what kind of an existence is God? God is not a God
who can only love those people living in heaven because He is in a
high position. God tries to love even those living in the bottom of
hell. God must be the one who can love everything. Why should God be
able to love the lower more than the higher? Because of the principle
of action, God must be the one with a concept of eternity.
**
What is true love? It is love which makes you feel, when you meet a
person, that you want to be with that person for hundreds and
thousands of years. It is the love between husband and wife that makes
them want to love each other eternally. In true love, there cannot be
any hell or Satan.
**
The body of a human being has five senses. Man is made to feel and
recognize true love through these five senses. An eye looking toward
true love would be covered and intoxicated by it. How beautifully an
eye shines when it is intoxicated by true love!
When a mouth is intoxicated in true love, think how enraptured those
smiling lips are. Think how beautiful it would be to see the harmony
of five senses moving toward God intoxicated by true love. God alone
cannot experience the joy coming from this beauty. It can only be
experienced when there is a partner. This is the purpose of God's
creating humankind.
If there are a beautiful man and woman who want to touch the eye, kiss
the lips, or play the melody of the mind intoxicated by true love,
what would God do? If there is an Eve of true love, God would have the
desire to at once travel the world of her heart. God would be driven
to see how deep and wide is the heart of this beautiful Eve.
God would want to travel in the world of Adam and Eve's heart, which
has more beauty than the heaven and earth God created. Definitely, God
would want to travel in the world of the heart of a person of true
love more than He would want to travel the universe, and God would not
want to depart from the world of Adam and Eve's heart of true love.
After God created humankind, if God became intoxicated in man and
woman's true love, what would have happened to this world? God would
have been living in man and woman, and the world which God and they
created together definitely would have been a world filled with
happiness and beauty.
**
If true love is perfected, the sensitive God would not regret being
submerged in that true love. No matter what happened, God, if He was
in true love, would always be happy. In the world of true love,
humankind would live happily ever after for the rest of their lives
without regret. There would be no history of war, complaints or
unhappiness.
**
If true love were perfected in the history of humankind, then all the
problems of politics, economy and culture, including struggles and
fights, would be solved. All the difficult problems in the world now
can be fundamentally solved only through the perfection of true love.
**
We must search for true Love. Where are we to go to find true love?
True love has no day or night; it is eternal and unchanging. It cannot
be true love if it is only for myself. True Love cannot be my
individual possession. True love is for all people and for the whole
universe. True love is what connects family, society, nation, world
and the universe.
**
The phrase "love each other" in Christianity does not mean that each
is to receive love. Love is for the sake of others; therefore, it
means for each to "serve for the sake of others." What kind of a world
would it be if all the people served and sacrificed for the sake of
others and the whole instead of one's self? It would be a world of
peace. If the whole world came to love each other with true love, even
at the price of death, there would be a burning fire of rebirth. If
all people loved each other, the flower of happiness and peace would
blossom and fill the world with a beautiful fragrance. The world where
true love is realized is indeed where the ideal of humankind is
realized. However, when each asks to be loved first, struggles,
fights, jealousy and doubts result. Truth does not exist far away from
us. It exists within us.
9. THE PRIVILEGE OF TRUE LOVE
Love grants the privilege to participate together. If a father is in a
higher position, a child in a lower position can jump up to that
father's position. Because of this surprising fact that the privilege
to be together is included in love, love is eternal even when I am
separated and far away.
**
If you join a relationship of love with God, you would have the
privilege of dominion and independence, and then the right of
inheritance.
**
Only those who possess God's love can have the privilege to inherit
the power of all heaven and earth which God created.
**
How can I stand in a reciprocal position before the absolute God? By
making effort? Or by power? Nothing of the sort would make it
possible. However, if you create a relationship of love you can go to
an equal position immediately.
**
If you want to stand in an equal position or the same position as God,
you must possess the love of God.
**
You must know that if the Unification Church combines the power of
love with God's true love, then the right of ownership has already
been determined It is same as the husband's right of ownership
becoming the wife's right of ownership when they have a relationship
of true love. A husband and wife united with love share the ownership
of all their property. Similarly, a person linked with God by true
love inherits God's right of ownership.
**
The problem is, how can an omniscient and omnipotent God unite with
human beings who are a limited existence? If an invisible being and a
visible being cannot unite, the unification of the universe is not
possible no matter how much we long for it.
What kind of person can unite with God? Only a true person can unite
with God. The true person who can unite with God is a person with true
love.
I am sure there is no one who is against the conclusion that "only a
true person with true love can unite with God." I'm sure no one, no
matter what historical background, color of skin, tradition, customs,
language or culture, would be against this suggestion.
**
Centering on God's love, if a person makes a love relationship with
God, he or she can stand in the same position as God. Why is it that
Nancy, the wife of President Reagan, can have the same political
rights as the president before the American people? This is because,
centering on love, she is in a relationship of husband and wife with
President Reagan. If one is united centering on love, he or she comes
to have the right to stand in the same position as their beloved. Love
contains this right.
Along with this right, love contains the right of inheritance. If you
start to have a love relationship with God, you not only come to stand
in the same position as God, but also come to inherit everything that
God owns. Humanity originally is privileged to have everything that
God has; therefore, it is obvious why human beings have the desire to
become the supreme existence.
Even fallen man has the desire to stand in the highest, most honorable
position. Whether academic, non-academic, black or white, the desire
to have the highest position is the same. The problem is that only
love can satisfy this desire of humankind.
**
When you take hold of the core of love, you are able to control God.
Even if the wife of a handsome husband is ugly, she can control her
husband if they have a relationship of love. Love has this power.
**
An innocent country girl, living so miserably as not even to have
shoes, would be able to jump all at once to become the wife of a
president if she makes a love relationship with a person having the
possibility to become president. No matter how excellent the United
States president, who can scold the whole world, and how ordinary his
wife, through the relationship of love she has the right to
participate with him wherever he goes. Love has this power.
**
The reason we feel sad is because God is feeling sad. This problem has
been ignored until now. Since man and woman lost their original and
absolute value as an object to the absolute God, we cannot stand
before the universe with dignity.
Then how can I stand in the reciprocal position before this God who is
in a high position? By making effort? Through power? Nothing can make
it possible. Only love, only the rope of a love relationship, can
raise you up to be in an equal position reciprocal to God.
Don't you think the world is like this, also? Even if you do not have
any value, personality or intellect -- even if you are close to zero
in all aspects, if you make a love relationship with a great man, you
can immediately have value as his object.
In other words, if there is a great "John," his wife automatically
would become "Mrs. John." Other women would not be able to compete
against the woman with this great husband. Don't you agree? Now,
consider that we may be linked with God by love. The love between us
and God would be stronger than the love between father and child in
this world. Therefore, centered on this love, there is no reason why
we could not be raised to a position equal to God immediately.
Love is unchanging and eternal, and therefore absolute. Thus we see
the present as a time when we, who had forgotten our great original
value should restore the origin of our lives.
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